In the Waiting Room

Sunday, August 14, 2011

"Rest in the Lord; wait patiently for Him to act..."
Psalms 37:7 
I share my heart and mind easily when I've had time to process everything running through my brain.
While I've been thinking a lot, I've noticed that I've tucked away a lot that's been stirring in my heart and in my mind. My mind has been wondering constantly for the past week. 
I usually talk about everything I'm thinking. I've kept my mouth shut.
Uncertainty scares me. I'm a planner by nature. I don't thrive off of last minute plans and I certainly don't love radical changes in life either. I love routine. It's comfortable. I like for people to tell me what I should do when I don't know, and I don't like to make those choices for myself. 
It's easier that way... 
But I know, growth doesn't happen when life is easy, and being comfortable is what sets us up for complacency. I certainly don't want to be complacent and if I've learned anything in the last 4 years, I realize that sometimes during the hardest times in life, I can look back and see how much God changed my heart towards Him during those moments I questioned Him most. Funny how that works, isn't it?! 
So here's me being real.
Right where I'm at in this very moment
I believe and trust that God has a plan for my life.
I also know that in the last couple of years God has been stirring up something in my heart. 
I feel called to Nursing and to care for people at their deepest point of need and to make a difference in the world and I thank God for the chance to have that platform to love others how He has loved me. 
I also know that I have passions outside of Nursing that God has revealed to me over time, that continue to grow and become more of who I am everyday. 
While this may not be something I get to do everyday of my life as a 'career', I can't help but believe God is forming and preparing my heart for those things in the future as only He has perfect timing for everything. 
I don't know what God has for me.
I don't know what God is doing inside of me right now, and I feel like I am in the 'waiting room' if you will...waiting on God to make his direction clear.
I realize and know that my decisions do not only affect me, and for this I am grateful. He has blessed me with incredible people and I am blessed to have such great support and I'm incredibly thankful for a Godly man who supports and walks beside me.
But my biggest prayer during this season of to simply be content right where I'm at.
I want to soak in all that God is doing in and around me, and I want to embrace every moment that I have this last year of Nursing school as only more changes are up ahead of me. I trust God to work in the hearts of those He needs to, and I believe and trust in His faithfulness to me during this time. 
I worry about everything.
I don't want to worry about my next step, I want to trust and embrace this time. 

As I learned when I was a little girl, but may it ring ever so true in my actions:

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path straight." Proverbs 3:5-6 
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