Wednesday, April 28, 2010

This is something I have thought about all week....
Ever felt like everything was crashing in all at once?
Or like you're carrying a backpack so heavy that you feel like you'll fall over at any second?

This week has been one where I feel like it is pouring in my life but not even necessarily from things that I would say in my own life are going "wrong."
It's the end of the semester and obviously with that comes stress, anxiety, and wondering - will I even make it to the finish line?

All this to say, I have a lot of worries and heavy things on my heart, burdens for others in my life that I so badly want for them to see truth and let God reveal wisdom into their life, but realizing that I can't make that happen, and needing to take a step back has not been the easiest of things for me.

I really have nothing in my own world to complain about, I am extremely blessed, but being honest about how I feel, it just keeps raining. I'm tired.

This past Sunday when I was in Memphis, the pastor talked about peace. Funny that he talked about it this week, because it was exactly what I needed to hear.
He quoted a verse from the message, and although I've heard it a hundred times this translation really got to me.
the verse says this:

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." Matthew 11:28-30

I have been meditating on this verse all week long. Other things that the Lord has brought to my attention this week have been such a blessing.

The Rob Bell Nooma video called "rain" ...I woke up one morning quoting the line from the end in my head "We're gonna make it buddy"

Kari Jobe's song called "You are for me" - "I know you will never forsake me in weakness. I know that you are for me. You have come down, even if to right on my heart, to remind me of who you are."

Lines from songs I've known my whole life - "I love the Lord, he heard my cry."

"I will never leave you nor forsake you"

The list could continue with things that have been on my heart and mind this week as I have been asking the Lord to "wrap me in his arms."

The Bible promises that when we seek, and ask, we will find and the Lord hears our cries and he will answer us.

He has been with me in a real way this week even when I feel like I just can't keep going and I just need my Mom to be here to hug me and make everything better.

I am thankful for a God that carries us when we can't walk anymore. Even when it's pouring.

Some of the best memories of my life....

Thursday, April 22, 2010

One of our first weekends together....actually one of our first few weekends knowing each other. Meet Christy :)

This girl was my roommate my sophomore year of college at Trevecca :)

Little did I know that this would probably be my most fun year of college & that I'd meet a best friend I'd have for life.

Let's see where to begin. sometimes you meet someone & yet you feel like you knew them your whole life....this is how we are. I came to the transfer orientation wondering who in the world I would be living with next year, wondering if I would get along with them, would i hate them, would they have some annoying habits that would drive me crazy....but I got lucky :) Christy was going to be a transfer as well and we found each other, met once, and decided to live together. We didn't talk much before moving in and I joke with her all the time about when we first moved in, and how in the world did we start talking haha....but needless to say. We hit it off rather well!

We became attached at the hip. We laugh now at ourselves from some of the stupid things we did trying to meet people and fit in, that looking back we never would do now, but it's memories....she knows exactly what I'm talking about.(Picture to the left) hahah

We found some of the best restaurants in Nashville...a few of our favorites include- Pancake pantry, Jacksons', Friday morning sweet tea and chicken biscuit from McDonalds, Brueggers, Satco....and Oh so many more. Speaking of McD's. Christy and I decided to start something crazy cool just for fun...we tallied up the number of times we went to McD's in a semester. We were grossed out by the number at the end of the semester, but keeping track was hilarious. We celebrated my 20th birthday by going there at midnight. McD's has never tasted so good in my life! :)

I loved having my best friend there every night. Always someone to listen to you, someone to laugh with and joke with....(Tarantula's, "creeper", dropping the bag of food in front of the door, dropping a bed on your head, wearing each other's clothes, popcorn, movies, Greys) the list goes on and on and on....little did I know how much I took her for granted.

It's funny how things are always changing...Christy decided it was best to transfer from Trevecca back home for her Junior year, and life has made a lot of changes for me since my Sophomore year. Not a day goes by that I don't miss living with Christy, and I miss her daily friendship and wonderful presence here, but I am so thankful that our friendship still continues. When I say "roommate" I really am referring to her, even though I haven't lived with her for a year.

She came for a visit once this year, and boy that was a blast. It was weird to adjust to things being different, but man I loved having her here. I talked with her on skype tonight which is probably why I am writing this now but all that to say...Christy- you are wonderful. I miss you everyday that I am here but I am SO glad that you are happy and doing well! I miss your smile, your laugh, our jokes, and your hugs, but I am so thankful that we can pick up right where we left off. Not too many people in this world understand me as well as you do, and I will forever be thankful that I didn't come to Trevecca knowing who I was going to live with. It was a gamble when I signed those papers, but one of the best rewards I've gotten :) :)

I love you Christy :) !

Spring time :)

Monday, April 19, 2010

I cannot believe that I am 3 weeks away from being a SENIOR in college!!!! Although I have another year after this, time has flown by! This semester has flown by so fast. It's been awhile since I updated this so let's see. Spring break was great, it went by fast but it was nice to go home. We got a new puppy, her name is Izzy- she's super sweet but super bad right now...She goes to obedient school in oh 2 weeks, hopefully Mom can straighten her out :) she's sweet! I came back to school, worked hard for a few weeks, traveled home for Easter to sing in the production. What an awesome weekend! God is so good and cardboard testimonies that were done were incredible! I came back to school again, and continued traveling every weekend with PR, test after test, clinicals, and all the business with school, Matt came for a visit, and next thing you know TNT is here! It's been ridiculously busy but so much fun! The weather has been beautiful, park days have become a great part of my week and I am just living in this moment, realizing more and more everyday how fast time is going by and how precious these moments in my life are...The real world is slowly creeping up on me faster and faster, but God has been so good to me and I am so thankful for this season of my life!

A little deeper....
I love The Message translation of the Dad reads from it quite often, and I guess I am good with books and studying, but sometimes, reading things just what I need. I was online the other day, and this verse caught my attention.
"I am nothing and have nothing: make something of me." Psalm 40:17 (The Message)

I have been thinking about this verse all week. It speaks so much truth, and yet there is nothing complex about it. It is simple. I am nothing and have nothing. The more I began to think about that, the more I thought about myself. I know personally, I have changed so much in the last 3 years of my life...(even before that) but really...I feel like my Freshman year of college, I had no idea who I was, what I wanted, where I was going, and who God wanted me to be....I don't have it all figured out now, and I'm sure I never will, but it's incredible to see how God has placed each piece of the puzzle together, sometimes quickly and other times more slowly...but with each piece, there is such beauty and perfection. I deserve none of this, and I am often humbled by the opportunities that I have been given, the people that are in my life, and the support I have within my family. I truly am blessed, and I guess the thing that amazes me the most about all of it...I made such a mess of things in my life that were intended for things the Lord wanted to do through me, but because I lost sight of all that he needed to be in my life, I ended up in a hole so deep, I couldn't see the light.

"something that we do not deserve, but so desperately need." (My Dad)

If anything- God has granted me so much grace, forgiveness, and the strength to journey through find myself, my identity in Christ(not in sports, music, weight, materialistic things) and to make something out of my life to be used for his purpose. So when I read this verse, it caught my attention because that is exactly what the Lord is doing in my life right now. Not because I deserve it, but because he gives it freely. I take this for granted daily and sometimes it's nice to take time to reflect on the things that matter the most.

I am blessed beyond measure. I am a work in progress, but all the glory to Him who is doing abundantly more than I ever could think or imagine.....

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