"You are Autumn"

Monday, October 18, 2010

"And still I notice You when change begins, and I embrace for colder winds. I will offer thanks, for what has been and what's to come...
You are Autumn"

I had some "Me" time today.
I drove downtown to Starbucks and spent some time studying, and catching up on my "to do" list that is a mile long. It felt nice to get away and have some time not to feel rushed.
On my way back today, I was stopped at a red-light by Vanderbilt, and driving back there are some beautiful trees. It is a beautiful day, and the sun is shining and the wind is blowing.
I noticed the leaves falling off the trees, and the beauty in all the colors.
Such beauty in this change of seasons.
Funny, that the song' Gratitude was playing in my car.
This song by Nichole Nordeman, talks about different seasons of our lives and giving
thanks regardless of the time. This song was meaningful to me during my Freshman year of
college and I often times am reminded of that season in my life.
It was one of the most challenging moments of my life.
A dry spell if you will, however such beauty, newness, and wholeness was created because of that season of my life.
I am thankful for the pain, the struggle, the tears, and the joy of that year.

I realize change is happening all around me.
It's constant.
Uncertainty is difficult, waiting on God's timing for things to come together, to make sense, for happiness to come, for rest, for life to somehow come together- its difficult.

Regardless of the time in life.
The season physically.
The season in your own heart.
A cold, dry place.
Or perhaps, a warm, vibrant, season full of life.
Either way, regardless of seasons, feelings, or people
God NEVER changes.
His love is constant, through all of it.
He has a plan in & through everything in our lives.

So be encouraged.
Whatever season you are facing in your heart, and your life....
He makes All things new.
His timing is difficult to trust, but He gives the Grace to sustain each of us during the
"waiting" period.

If this seasons of your life is full of life, thank Him for it.
Hold onto these moments, for this is how we become faithful when life is difficult.

I was reminded today simply of the beauty of seasons.
Not only to watch the trees and nature change around me,
but the promise that even after the coldest of winters, when everything is dead,
new life is awaiting....

"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord..."
Jeremiah 29:11

You Make All Things New

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

"Out of chaos, life is being found in You."

I've been learning a lot in the last couple of months in my life. It's been a crazy time since August. I don't feel that I have much time to even catch my breath these days, or to blog, but I have been waiting anxiously to sit down & share part of my journey with you.
As I have mentioned a million times in previous blogs, change is hard. Sometimes good, sometimes bad, and at times just plain hard. Regardless, it happens.
God has been speaking to me a lot recently.

A few lessons I have been learning the past couple of months:

Prayer changes me, not God. My day is better when I pray, all day- constant conversation.
Loving is easy when it's someone you get a long with, its difficult with some people- this is when being Christ-like is not an option, but its very difficult.
A reminder that His grace is sufficient for me.
When God calls us to something, He won't leave us stranded. He goes with us.
When we seek the Lord, He promises us an answer, however his timing is key.
Patience is difficult, but with God's help I will learn to be more like him.
Actions speak louder than words.
It's easier to shrug off things that really hurt, then to deal with them.
God has a plan even when I think I've ruined it.
Life is short. We are never promised tomorrow.
I realize I struggle with pride and selfishness more than I thought I did.
A sweet reminder - "Cast all your cares and worries on Him, for He cares for you."
God is creating something beautiful daily out of my life.
God gives rest to the weary.

I guess you could say I've done a lot of reflecting, asking, and just seeking the Lord more than I have in awhile. Being vulnerable can be scary at times, but it has also been some of the best times in the last couple months as I have been broken and open before the Lord asking him to search my heart and life, to show me what He wants for me, and just to refill me when I feel like I am at the end of my rope. Some days I am down on myself thinking I should have this all figured out by now, but then I am reminded that God uses the weak people in this world to lead the strong.
All He asks for is a willing spirit.

I've also done some real thinking about God's plan for my life and His work even in situations that make no sense to me, and just some that I am so sick of because it's hard and it's not my way. Regardless, I have been thinking a lot about being happy, and about joy.

The dictionary defines joy as - to take great pleasure in, or to enjoy.

As I have been thinking about being "happy" ...I realize this isn't something that I am always going to be, however having Joy in the midst of an unhappy situation, or one that is not ideal, is even better. Realizing that God knows what He is doing in and through everything & the fact that I can trust that He will never change, or fail me. I can rest in this truth.
There is Joy in this!

The Bible tells us "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart."

In my quiet time, in moments of worship in the past couple of weeks, I have found myself being reminded of the places God has brought me from, the closeness of His presence in my daily life, and the truth that He goes before me and will guide me if I truly seek him.

While this season of my life may not be everything I 'thought' it was going to be, The Lord has made himself so real to me. I pray that I am becoming more and more like him everyday. I may not have all of this figured out, but I am striving to be all that God wants me to be.

‎"You delight in truth in the inward being, You teach me wisdom in the secret heart."♥

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