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Running on E

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

I don't usually feel like I have a hard time writing about where I'm at or about what's going on, but I've somewhat contemplated not even writing about this past week since I shared with you last. 
Jumping back from spring break into school I had no idea what this week would be.
I can't even get into the details but this week for me has been a trying time.
Events happened that were unexpected.
I feel as though every part of who I am, physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually have reached E. 
"The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with his love. He will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17
Empty. 
I have watched people in my life that I'm close to hurting so bad. I have grieved with my classmates over a death of one of our own classmates. I have struggled in my own mind with certain things in life that just don't make sense and never will. I have found myself truly seeing what I'm made of when I have been pushed. Every part of who I am this week has felt like it's screaming 
"I can't do this anymore."

In saying all of this, it is raw, it's howI feel, but in taking a step back, I really have nothing to complain about and that is not at all what this blog is intended for.
Strength.
Although I have felt like I have none, the Lord has shown up all around me this week to remind me that with Him I can do anything. 
I have found myself crying out to the Lord from the very depths of who I am about things that bother me. 
My heart has been broken and I have found myself remembering what I've been called to.
To Love people. 
To be real.
My prayers this week have been desperate. 
Why am I not desperate everyday for the Lord?
He's given me everything I've needed.
Grace. Support from those that love me. Encouragement. Peace. Rest. 
The verse that I have claimed this week as my own
"The Lord will fight for you; You need only to be still."
Exodus 14:14
That's exactly what He's done for me this week.

I'm not sure all these thoughts even make sense, but this week the Lords been near to me. 

Thankful for a God who loves me and fights for me.

2 comments:

  1. The gift of grace is always needed but never deserved. I am also grateful for His grace as I struggle to understand why He loves me when I feel all I do is disappoint Him. Thankful for your words and making me think.....

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  2. Oh how I need those words in my heart and spirit tonight...."The Lord will fight for you; You need only to be still."
    Thank you for giving me those words, as I can so relate at this very moment. I love you and I thank you for sharing God's peace and promise. He does give us EVERYTHING we need.

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