Sunday, January 27, 2019

Since I've had Eleanor, I've learned more about the worst 'rest' than I think I ever wanted to.

I will say, prior to having her, I knew what it felt like to be tired, but I didn't realize just how much I took time for granted.

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade having our sweet girl for the world, but it changes everything. 
Being a full time nurse practitioner, wife, mom, friend, and worship leader does not come without its challenges in balancing time. Can I get an amen from anyone? Sometimes it feels like a circus juggling it all.

My type A personality at times struggles to shut "off." 
I don't think even when given the time that I slow down easily, because if something isn't accomplished that day, or if I can not highlight anything off my list (anyone else feel amazing when they get to check the boxes or highlight things off the list?!) I often feel it is a wasted day, but that is far from the truth.

Eleanor has a way of bringing things into perspective for me. Simple things like going to the park, bring me back to reality to remind me what's truly important. It's amazing how playing blocks with an almost 2 year old for 20 minutes can change the way you see the world.

So for me, I'm learning that 'rest' doesn't always translate to 'sleep' although a good nap every once is awhile is always welcomed. Im finding that within myself I have to practice this as a discipline in order for me to be the best me. It's is very difficult for me mentally to shut my brain off from all the choices I make on a daily basis for patients, to stop thinking about all the things in my inbox that need to be signed off, or not to keep stressing about the mounds of laundry piled up at home waiting to be folded. 

So what am I learning?

I'm learning that there are more important things than a clean house.

I'm learning that the work will always be there, and as long as I'm doing my best each day, I have to leave it at that and trust God with the rest.

The screen in my hands what feels like constantly, can do more damage than good and sometimes I need to have enough self control to just put it down for awhile. (This one really hits home and I feel conviction even writing this one. I know I'm not alone.)

Being present with Eleanor during the time I do have with her, is the best thing I can give her. It never feels like enough, but when I have it, she deserves my undivided attention.

Sometimes, it is okay to go through an entire day without checking anything off the  to-do list. 

Sometimes you just have to be spontaneous and say "yes'' to things more than you say "no." 

Balance is everything. It is hard. Without God's help, I will never be able to do this well. 

Finding rest mentally is crucial for me. I have to consistently bring myself back to the truth of the scripture. Resting in Him, instead of constant worry/stress.

I am certainly a work in progress, and this is an ongoing lesson but I pray that each and everyday I am making strides to be more like Jesus in my mentality, and my ability to practice resting. To just 'be' as His words commands us to "Be still." 

I'm thankful today for a husband who knows how important this time is for me, and watches our sweet girl while I take a little time for myself. 

If this resonates with you, I'd love to hear from you. How do you rest? What habits or practices do you have that help you to do this better?

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