Everlasting God

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

"One thing I know that I have found, through all the trials that surround;
You are the rock that never fails, you never fail.
One thing I know that I believe, through every blessing I receive,
You are the only one that stays, you always stay."

I sing this song almost every weekend. Sometimes multiple times.
Nothing happens by coincidence. So maybe this song 'sounded'
like something that I would sing, but it was not an accident that
this is the song Mel chose for me to sing.

No matter how many times I sing these same lines, it feels like it's
the first time I have sang the song. I guess when I first heard it,
I was so distracted by the notes, the melody, and how it was gonna
play out, that I never payed any attention to the words...

One night, I was in my room listening to the recording of this playing...
and those lines caught my ear, like I had never heard or sang them.

It's funny, because ever since then, I can't help but think so deep into
everything that those words mean for me. It's almost like when I sing this song
there's another story going on in my head, playing scenes of my life, and places
I've been where I had no idea how I would ever make it through the valley,
or how I would ever learn to love myself, or how I would ever just "feel" better.
Those moments now, looking back, I can see God's hand in every action,
every hurt, every scar, and now somehow, a beauty that only he could bring
to the things in my life that so entangled and destroyed me.

I guess my favorite line of the entire song is "you are the only one that stays."
Every time I sing this, I can't help but get teary-eyed because it is such truth.
I guess for me people walking out, is a huge fear of mine, and although
I've been promised before, we are only human and I have been let down, hurt,
and left to fear that happening over and over...but no matter how many times I have
messed up, fallen back on my word, made stupid choices, chosen other things first,
back stabbed, lied, and everything else that we as humans do...God has never left me.

The reason I put the picture of the beach on here is because, this is not only my favorite place to go at home, but every time I'm there, I'm reminded of how big God is, and how much he doesn't need me...but that he wants me- Regardless of my past, my mistakes, my doubts, hangups, insecurities, fears, scars, and everything that is in the future....I never thought I was worthy of that. This is love. Real, unconditional, love.

"I will never leave you nor forsake you."

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