"And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us..."

Monday, August 2, 2010

"We started out as strangers, and ended as family."

Where in the world did the summer go?!
Ah, it was a blast! The last month of summer flew by! North Carolina camp was a blast,time with the Edward's was such a blessing. The memories kept rolling, and the laughs were constantly coming. It was a blast!

I couldn't be more thankful for such a great summer!!!

Deep breath.
If I am learning one thing in life, I am learning that things are constantly changing. I am not a huge fan of change, but I realize that with change come some of the best things in life. Some of the greatest characteristics that we attain, and growth that happens throughout our lives comes when change happens.

I wanna be completely real about something I am learning and experiencing right now in my life. I have a knot in my throat as I am writing this, because like I said it's real, and it's now.
Over the last year I have had this huge desire on my heart to just live in the moment. To take nothing for granted and to just love life and every moment because we are never promised tomorrow. I never really understood why I felt this way, but none the less I can say that over this past year, I have done that. I don't have any regrets of time spent with people or wishing time away. That's been an awesome feeling!

A couple of situations in my life where I thought things were certain, or "comfortable" in the past week I found out won't exactly be how they were. Without going into detail, it has been a hard thing to take in. Something that I have been looking forward to, something that I have held onto so much because it is so special to me, and just something that I love dearly, is now not going to be exactly like I had planned. Through all of this, I realize now that the uncertainty of tomorrow, and the questions that I have, and all the emotions that I have , I have a choice in all of it. Do I trust that God knows what's best, or do I wallow in my selfish feelings?

A question was asked to me- Bethany- do you trust God, or do you trust the people he brought into your life?

Looking back on everything, and working through all that is happening, and what's ahead, I realize now more than ever, that my trust cannot be in people, but in the One who brings people into my life.

We sang out last song together in a worship service a week ago in SC, and as we were on stage singing for the last time together as a group- clear as day, I heard the Lord speak to me and he said this
"Bethany, I know exactly what you need, trust me. I know what each of you need. Let me do my thing."
I really didn't know what to think about this, so I just kept it to myself until later that night.
I told the group what I felt like I heard, and I was relieved to just share that.

It is easy for my head to say that God is already ahead of me and he knows what I need and it's another thing for my heart to believe that. In the last week as I have been praying about my attitude, and for an open mind and heart, I realize how much I struggle to fully trust God with things that I cannot control.
It seems kinda silly that I would even try to control something that I never had control of in the first place. My prayers and my desire is to trust God with everything that I have, regardless of how I think things should turn out.

It's one thing to say that I trust God with things that I like. It's another thing to say I trust God in situations where I am hurt, wondering what's next, and nervous about the outcome.

I wanna believe this with everything that I am.
"Jesus, Jesus- how I trust Him. How I've proved him over and over. Jesus, Jesus- precious Jesus, oh for Grace to trust Him More."

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