"Oh Lord You have searched me and know me..."
Maybe like me you've found yourself at a place in life where you question yourself, where you are, how you got here, and often why you do the things that you do. 
Maybe you do things by choice, maybe its consequences, maybe its defenses, or maybe its something you've always done just to cope with life and its circumstances. 
Regardless of this, in the last week I've been doing a lot of thinking about myself.

Over the past several months I realize there are some unhealthy things in my life and ways that I react, and internally think through things. While I may not ever know the exact reasons why I do what I do, I have learned something about myself.

Why does my story and things in my life have to be a secret?

We live in a world where we try to put on plastic smiles, a face that says things are great, and we are always asking each other "how are you?" most times not genuinely meaning what we are asking.We respond with "Im great, how are you?" When inside, we could be dying.
Who said it always has to be fine?
That everything has to be okay?
That you have to "act"?

Today's world has made broken pieces out to look like "hopelessness" when in reality, being broken can almost be one of the best places to be.
Its humbling, eye-opening, and often times life-changing.

While it doesn't mean you have to tell the whole world every secret that you have or everything that you struggle with, if we never truly share our deepest hurts, the things that we are struggling with, and the part of our story that could change someone's life, if we are never honest with ourselves (sometimes that being the hardest part), how will we ever be the real deal?

Without even noticing it, I have found myself trying to cover up pieces of my story.
Being honest means I would have to say I'm at a place where I often wonder how it will all piece together, but that's the beauty of it.

For every part of my life that I am questioning, searching for, and really trying improve to be the best I can be, it is all the more reason I have to truly lay every piece of my life, my past, present, and future in His hands, as He is the only person that can put it all together. 
He knows it all. He knows where we've been but He also sees where He wants to take us if we'll be obedient and trust Him.
Our past does not have to define us and the Word tells us:
"Who the Son sets free, is free indeed."(John 8:36)
It's a struggle. It's hard to be honest. It isn't perfect, but it's my story.
What's your story? 










One Comment

  1. God is so good to have given us testimonies. They always point out to His Glory

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