What a Difference a Year Makes

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

  "Still mercy fought, for my attention...
You were waiting at the door."
When you’re in the air flying at extremely fast speeds, and you don’t have many options for things to do, it’s a great time to think. I enjoy traveling and sometimes I really enjoy traveling alone. Over the past week, 2 people from my hometown died tragically. It makes you stop and think, it really does. It’s interesting because since I finished this past semester, I have had a lot of time to myself and in that time I began to think about where I was at a year ago. It’s crazy what a year can do.
I have often been one to wish things away, to wonder what life will be like in the next phase, to find it hard to be content in the present, but I told my mom a few months ago that my prayer was to truly be content right where I am. I don’t want to miss out on anything that I should be getting right now and I will only have this time of my life once.
In thinking back a year ago at where I was at, in my heart and in things that I wasn’t sharing with anyone, I felt like I was dying. I guess I never realized how good I can be at acting, which isn’t something to be proud of, however it is something I have done. In masking pain I was trying to hide, trying to fix things I had gotten myself into, and trying to force something that God never had intended for me, I realize that I was in a place that was a product of my choices. While I learned many lessons, and God’s grace was poured over me during that time, a year later I can honestly say that I am so happy.
God has truly blessed me. Regardless of the lies I told myself, the messes I continued to try and fix, I now find myself with a love I never thought would be mine. I dreamed most of my life that I would marry my best friend and that life would be all of these things, but when I was trying to force things that I never should have, of course I ended up feeling like this was only a dream. This has been such an eye opening year for me, I have found so much of myself that I didn’t even realize I had lost, and I feel like I have grown so much. I am so thankful for the way my parents and my relationship has blossomed and I can’t thank them enough for their prayers and support. As Far as the love of my life, I can’t finish this blog without mentioning him. Andrew has truly been such a gift to me. His patience with me, his support during some difficult moments this past semester, his unconditional love that I’m sure isn’t easy at times, and the random acts of kindness that he does for me on a daily basis truly have shown me that the love I had always dreamed of, really is mine. No one puts a smile on my face quite like he does. He is such an incredible person and I thank God for putting the man of my dreams in my life. I am excited to continue my journey beside him and I thank God for the love story he is writing and everyday is a new adventure and I’m blessed to have him.

This semester of nursing school seriously flew by. It was by far one of the most challenging, but I made it and I was very proud of the grades I walked away with. I can’t believe I only have one semester of nursing school left. It’s weird when I started working on my resume and I filled out my first application for a job- Kind of scary, but I’ve worked hard to get here and this is what I’ve been preparing for. I truly have been so blessed this past year despite the mess I found myself in a year ago. For all those internal feelings and unrest in my heart, I now find myself at peace and with a huge smile on my face.
I am content with where I’m at and although there are days where I just wish things were different, I have nothing to complain about and everything to be thankful for. I am excited to see what the Lord has for me this next semester, as I am finishing up school. I am looking forward to my break at home and for a chance to spend time with my parents and friends that I don’t see often.

God truly is faithful and I am so thankful for place I am at in life right now.

1 comment:

  1. Love you girl. Life lived in transparency is a leap of faith many times, but it's reward is freedom. God's desire for us is that we walk in the Truth. He helps us like no other.


I love your comments!

Powered by Blogger.
Theme Designed By Hello Manhattan

Your copyright

Your own copyright