I feel like the only way I answer questions lately is with the response: "I don't know."
It gets old to say the least.
I realize that people ask me questions about what's next for me just out of pure care and interest in my life and while I appreciate that and am so thankful to have so many people that care about me, I noticed myself being overwhelmed in my mind at the end of the day thinking about how many times one day held the answer
"I don't know."

In recent blogs I have shared of my concern for what's next, and I realize that in praying for God's direction that means there will come a time when doors need to close.
This past week, a door closed in my face. 
Faster than I ever thought it would.
For those of you who know, and for those who didn't know, I applied for the Nurse Residency Program at Vanderbilt for Pediatrics, and this past week I got a letter that said I would not be receiving an interview. 
That simple. 
Shut.
Closed.

After dealing with my initial feelings of disappointment, feeling inadequate, and wondering what's next, I realized that God answered one of my prayers. In asking for His direction and asking for it to be clear, it was made clear that this path was not for me.
Humbling no doubt.



In the midst of what feels barren, unknown, quiet all around with no set plans or answers, and yet a raging war within my mind that is rarely silent, I know that the Lord has a plan and in His perfect timing it will all be revealed. 

For every time right now I answer a question with an unsure response, no matter what looks I get, often times puzzled faces at the fact that I don't have answer, I can smile because I'm confident in the unknown.

How?
Jeremiah 29:11
 "I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for."
The msg




4 Comments

  1. This reminded of the hymn I sang last Sunday in church.

    Because he lives I can face tomorrow
    Because he live all fear is gone
    Becase I know he holds the future
    And life is worth the living
    Just because he lives.

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  2. and aren't those words so true...comforting in times where nothing seems certain. Thank you for the sweet reminder.

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  3. And it's All about His perfect timing..... though there are times that we would like to... rush it, or slow it down, or even let Him know exactly how the plans should all be, and have Him put them into motion at our request. But you know what?
    If we didn't have these times in our life, than we wouldn't need God, or we wouldn't know how faith really works.
    Because faith is ..... "confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1.
    Rest in the confidence of your hopes, and assurance in God and His love. I know it's not a"fun" ride, but the end result is so worth it. I love you.

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  4. "Thank Me for the conditions that are requiring you to be STILL. Do not spoil these quiet hours by wishing them away, waiting impatiently to be active again. Some of the greatest works in My kingdom have been done from sick beds and prison cells (and times of waiting). Instead of resenting the limitations of a weakened body (or a time of "limbo"), search for My way in the midst of these very circumstances. Limitations can be LIBERATING when your strongest desire is to live close to Me.

    Quietness and trust enhance your awareness of My Presence with you. Do not despise these simple ways of serving Me. Although you feel cut off from the activity of the world, your quiet trust makes a powerful statement in spiritual realms. My Strength and Power show themselves most effective in weakness. Zech. 2:13; Isaiah 30:15; 2 Cor. 12:9

    ~ Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young

    (A little thought from my morning's devotion with Maggie. I added a few things in there for you! I am excited about what God has in store for you. Who knows, working there could have been a nightmare. I know more people who work in horrible staff environments - working for people who are sadistic. I have a friend right now that has been working in a health-related field for YEARS and can't find one thing that she is happy about working there for. Oh my word. God knows you Bethany inside and out and He is absolutely in control, BECAUSE you have put Him in the driver seat. Right now, he's turned the corner and there is a tunnel. Instead of wishing you were in the light.....hold your breath for fun, or if you're like me....sing non-stop with no breathing till you're out on the other side! This devotion says we serve God in our QUIETNESS and TRUST. That's a simple way of serving, but it pleases our Master. Hang on - - - keep singing - - - there's light at the end of the tunnel!)

    I love you. - TJ

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