you revive me Lord

I have a confession.

I was looking at my blog today and read the title and laughed.

If you could only know how much fear has gripped my heart this week.

I somewhat feel like a hypocrite.

I guess I said it though, I'm a work in progress.

I talked to someone that's much wiser than me today about certain things I have been struggling with.

I realize my need for the Lord in all of this.

It's so much deeper than a surface level problem and I was asked the question: where do you think all this is coming from?

The enemy. 

I decided to spend some quiet time on this beautiful afternoon.

I found some worship videos from my Freshman year of college.

How refreshing it was to be taken back to that place in my heart but to rejoice in God's faithfulness to me in where I find myself now.

God's brought me quite a ways since then.

I still have a long way to go.

Psalms  34:4 says this:

"I sought the Lord, and he answered me; 

he delivered me from all my fears."

I realize my struggle to trust. 

To believe.

To relax.

To live for today.

To trust in God's promises for my life.

To trust in other people.

To love myself.

The beauty in all of it.

I find peace when I'm on my knees.

Honest before the Lord about everything I feel and worry about.

I pray that He will continue to change me.

To refine me and help me become a better and healthier person.

It's hard.

I'm not even sure I practically know how to work on some of my struggles.

So I'm gonna pray. 

And trust God to work in my heart and life.

I'm Thankful for a God who revives my spirit and my mind.

Who delivers me from my fears.

Who wants me to live in the fulness of His grace daily.